The idea of starting over again can be unnerving and downright exacerbating it. “You mean I gotta do this again??” For me, I think it is this way for a few reasons:
1. Starting over again carries an association with failure. I’ve done this before. I didn’t succeed the first time. So now here we are. . .
2. There’s the fear of having to retread these steps, do all of this hard work once more, only to fail again.
3. It makes me wonder if I am every truly going to “get there”. Is this a reachable goal or am I forever going to be aiming and missing the mark?
When I was a young girl of age 10 or 11, one of my favorite toys was my Game Boy, the old gray, block looking one. And one of my favorite games was Super Mario Land. I loved that it tested my skill, my dexterity. The first time I played, of course, I did not get very far. All of my lives exhausted, I saw Mario disappear and the words “Game Over” coming across the screen. This was in the era of no buying extra lives (thank, the Lord) to continue playing, like you see in some games today. There was no quick fix. No easy, buy-my-way-out-of-it solution. Once those lives were gone, I was back to beginning. However, you know, each time I found myself back at the start, it became a little easier to go farther in the game. You see, I had learned additional skills and tricks each time that I played the game, and those helped me to go farther, and farther. . .. I will never forget the absolute glee I had when I actually helped Mario save that princess. It was the best feeling ever. And I did not stop playing the game! However, when I played now, it was about how fast I could win the game in or how many lives I had kept when I won or my overall score. Even after winning the game, I found myself still learning new tricks that I had not discovered before.
Here is the thing: each time you start over, you aren’t the same person as before. You are a person who has learned valuable lessons. You are a person who has developed skills. When you begin again, you are much more equipped to go farther. The process itself is valuable. It is not easy. And it is easy to get tired before even starting. I know I have. Sometimes the process of beginning again entails me doing so with tears all over my face. But one step in front of the other, you find yourself doing it. You find yourself learning. You find yourself growing. Sometimes, that is just as much of a success as reaching your goal.
Life According to Tifftay 